What If Today?

What If Today?

This is a bold, new move for me. I’ve invested time, money, tears and my life into this work. And it’s freaked the hell out of me. Yet it’s pulls at me like nothing ever has. I have to do this. I wake up before the alarm goes off and it’s the first thing I think of. I talk about it all the time. I dream about it. I wish everyone knew about it. It’s the ONE thing for me. I’m rushing to do it today. Pushing, Striving. Forcing. Craving perfection. And it eludes me.

What if today? Just one day. Today? Not tomorrow. Right now. Today?

What if today I move toward the one thing with PEACE in my heart? Like approaching a wild animal…I must be quiet. Crouching low, moving slowly, breathing easy. Hand outstretched. Feeling with my heart. Sending trusting thoughts toward its wary eyes.  Offering a morsel. Offering love? Offering PEACE?

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What if today I felt CONNECTED with the woman down the hall who struggles to get through this lonely season? With a smile for the boy in the classroom who feels like no one cares. With a breath taking hug to a friend I have been missing. With a funny conversation to a son who rarely says anything. With a passionate kiss to my lover that freezes a moment in time. What would that be like today?

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What if today I let my EXCITED shine through my face, my words, my actions? Like a child with a much desired toy on a Christmas morning, so grateful and so loved that the tears flow? Like a home-coming? Like a wedding day? Like a fireworks show on a hot summer night?

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What if today I simply trust that I am STRONG enough to do this work? Trust that the world needs me to do this work. That all that I have been through before has brought me here so that I can do this work. That the muscles of my heart are built strong again from crumbled pieces on the floor and stretched and burned almost beyond it’s limits so that it may be big enough to do this work. To feel that pain before so that I can be strong now?

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For today, no striving. No pushing. No perfection.

For today, I am Peaceful. I am Connected. I am Excited and I am Strong. Just for today.

What are your Core Desired Feelings? How can you choose to feel that way today? Let us see and hear them in the comments below.

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